 | DECEMBER 2008 |  | So there we were - after months and months of planning, Landy packed, fuelled up and sitting on the driveway at our Johannesburg home. “So let’s go”, I said somewhat nervously as the fully equipped yellow beast “dieseled” into life! | Lets go back to June 2008, forever planning and discussing, we had decided to go down to the coast in December, chill and then fly back to Jo-burg, just in time to “wolf down” the obligatory farty turkey and copious quantities of MGB’s and Fragolino’s, then bugger off back down to KZN again to pile on more kg’s and do - well bugger all.
Then Nat said, “why don’t we do that Zim trip?". The seed was sown. Sod the coast for a change and let’s do Babwe! The big idea behind the change of plan was to take our daughter Savannah along, so she could experience a full-on overland type road trip, and for us all to 'just enjoy' the wonderful destinations and properties that we spend most of our working time marketing and selling.
So on Saturday morning, 12th December we set off, hoping the traffic would be good, I set "Veronica" our sat-nav for Martins Drift. Hmmmm not that easy! This was going to be a five hour haul, first negotiating our way through Pretoria’s outbound, bloody horrible traffic caused mainly by the road works getting our highways up to scratch for 2010.
Grumbling aside, once we were on the lesser roads the journey became more pleasurable and the diesel hum of Mrs. Custard (our beloved huge yellow Landy) gave us the chance to start unwinding and put the “year of great stress” behind us. It was just the four of us at last - Nat, Sav, myself and Mrs Custard, who was, (she promised) going to get us there safely. | | BOTSWANA Kwa Nokeng | After an uneventful five or so hours we arrived at the Martins Drift border. This was going to be our first overnight stop. Kwa-Nokeng Lodge (on the Botswana side) beckoned, but first we had to clear customs and immigration. We had “sorted” clearance prior to departure, this was going to be easy. Yah right! Our “Mr fixit” had not fixed it and we had to wait in the heat for a good hour until “Fixit” arrived all hot and bothered and eventually fixed it... We were through and just five mins away from Kwanokeng, the Maplanga’s all sought a cooling off session in the inviting pool.
Our first two nights had been planned as self catering. I had managed to avoid Ostrich for most of the year but tonight it was either the big bird with the bigger legs or the smaller one with the short legs... so chicken sosaties won hands down! Why not put off today what you may be able to avoid tomorrow? We crawled out of bed at around 06h30. Mrs Custard had already been fueled up with Botswana’s finest diesel, paid for by credit card. How strange! Off we were again for phase two of the Botswana part of our journey. I must point out that the big idea was to travel through Zimbabwe, so why you ask not enter Zims at Beit Bridge? Cholera, corruption and general confusion reign at this notorious border post but as you will read later Beit was to Bite hard. | | BOTSWANA - Elephant Sands |   | Elephant Sands is a relatively new lodge/camp situated approximately 60kms north of Nata. Since the fire at the famous and very popular Nata Lodge, this new establishment is thriving and not a bad place to overnight and enjoy the promise of the bush offerings to come. | The ostrich was unavoidable and after setting up our own mini braai and bumming a bit of ice from the bar, we were all set for a perfect African sundowner however rain, or Pula as it’s called in Botswana, decided to pay us a visit. Just after dinner we were treated to our first elephant sighting of the trip. Alone and majestic, there he arrived to slurp up some more Pula from the dam in front of our chalet. So with full stomachs and happy hearts it was time for another early night. The Jo-burg stress bugs finally began crawling off our backs! | | The next day dawned and true to the rumours the road from Nata to Pandamatenga (don’t you just love that name, it rolls so well off the tongue and gives you huge “I’ve been there” cred) was full of irritating potholes. Nothing Mrs Custard could not handle, but still a bit embarrassing for a country with such a good governance and balance of payment record. Trucks are the main culprits, but why can’t this rock solid government install a toll system to penalize these tar graunching juggernauts, then use the money to make upgrades? Sure long haul trucks are the life blood of Africa but at what cost to us ordinary citizens who have to avoid and weave in and out of elephant swallowing craters (OK a slight exaggeration from an adman!) that they make? | | ZIMBABWE | The small bustling town of Kasane was going to be our last pitstop before crossing the border into Zims. In the 150 kms or so before Kasane we had seen wild elephants and buffalo, This was more like it, our BIG African adventure had begun.
“Fill her up please”, again I whipped out the plastic fantastic, gotta love this! Just in case Zim had no diesel, I decided to fill every conceivable space with the Landy loving liquid, totaling approx 220litres. I was finally using my “boy’s toys” - roof rack tanks, long range overhead and underseat tanks, back up jerry’s and loving it! | As most know, borders are not a fun way to pass the time. Border officials seem to range from unfriendly to downright nasty, depending on what time of the day it is and more importantly when pay day is or was. I find it amazing that such a source of income (as we are) one should find them happy to help and “do the business”, presumably the officials never see the money we so happily pay for the honour of entering each and every country, damn those colonials, they gave us the border posts! You work it out: 1) Road access fund – R60 2) Carbon Tax – R140 3) Third Party – R330 4) Bob’s subscription to Longevity Magazine...just joking!
| | We were through in approx one hour! Hey Zimbabwe, we made it! What a breathtaking and stunning country and we were about to travel along one of the most scenic routes in it, the one hour drive from Kazungulu to Victoria Falls. An hour later we arrived in Vic Falls Town. She's looking a little sad, but still “a great drinking town with a rafting problem!” Our accommodation was booked at Masuwe Safari Lodge which is situated approx 8kms from Vic Falls Town. Masuwe is one of our all time favourite Zim lodges and we were looking at three nights to simply relax and enjoy. |  | Never a family to sit and enjoy the view, after dropping off our bags it was time to head back into Vic Falls Town to enjoy a bit of the Falls, check out that huge baobab & booze cruise the mighty Zambezi River. One of the most enjoyable things about travel is meeting new people, so to the family we met all the way from Durbs, thanks for the laughs and hope to see you soon for that Briyani! Back to Masuwe, dinner and off to bed for another early night. ZZZZZ! At 1h30am we were rather rudely awakened by shouts emanating from another tent some 50meters away. Look bottom line, crime happens and in Zimbabwe the population is desparate. This is not a tacit approval, I along with all of my affected South African brothers hate this scourge. Our nocturnal “friends” had decided that the Masuwe guests could offer some easy pickings, so with amazing X-Ray vision the thieves managed to cut through the canvas on one of the chalets just at the exact spot that a guests bag had been laid! With a few more “bumps in the night”, we decided to up sticks and head into town to Savannah Back-Packers lodge and then to make our way across to Livingstone the next day. | 
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Note to readers: This is not intended to be a grumble but more a factual as it happened account of events. We ALL love Zimbabwe but have to accept that the “haves” will be alleviated of their possessions occassionally. This is the same thing that happens all the time in South Africa so this is NOT a Zim-only affliction. We were not harmed in any way and other than losing a few hours sleep, the incident did not cause us any other issues. The owner of Masuwe has since reported back to us that the Harare based gang has been caught and had been targeting many lodges in Victoria Falls. Measures have been put in place to ensure security has been beefed up at Masuwe and all lodges in and around Victoria Falls. | | LIVINGSTONE, ZAMBIA | | (I grew up in Zambia, I have a huge place in my heart for this magnificent country, it’s kind and beautiful people. So while we had not planned to go to Zambia ('cept maybe for a lunch), we found ourselves making our way across the border for some much needed sleep. A quick oops at the Zambia border ensured we had to “go back and get your third party” please! The Waterfront beckoned and I was chuffed to be able to finally drive Mrs Custard into Livingstone, to disprove to all who know us that she is NOT only a Jo-burg kerb climbing excuse for a 4x4. |  | | We had arrived at our furthest most part of our journey (albeit a bit further North than originally planned!). The main reason for our entry into Zambia was to take our daughter to meet the Safari Par Excellence Elephant Family. With this confirmed, we made our way through Livingstone to Thorntree River Lodge, Livingstone's “Home of the elephants”. I must at this stage take time out from this travelogue to thank Clover King who arranged an “audience with the ellies” for our daughter Savannah. We will always appreciate the kindness and care that she displayed by introducing our pre-teen to the entire herd. The encounter certainly made a huge impact on Sav, who was brave enough to actually ride elephants in Zimbabwe a few days later. |  |      | All "elephanted" out, it was back to the Waterfront and onto the Zambezi Cruiser MV Mambushi, the MV Makumbi alternative and quieter Zambezi Cruise option. Yes a few Mosi’s and G&T’s were downed and the delish snacks devoured. | | BACK TO ZIMBABWE, HWANGE CALLS | | Trundling out on the Royal Mile (the road from Waterfront to Falls Rd), I was sorry to see the back of Zambia. Many return visits (in 2009) will be on the cards but they will be more business focused. It felt good to be able to spend some quality time without the marketing/deadline expectations sometimes placed on us when normally up there on business in this fantastic destination. The sentry baboons had gathered to wish us farewell as we cleared through customs and immigration without the usual “red tape” given out in dollops on arrival. The mighty Vic Falls were looking as spectacular as ever as we made our way over the historic bridge that divides these two great countries. Did I say two? Hmm you may argue “but what about Zimbabwe?” Well I truly believe that Zimbabwe will regain her greatness and as I write this, Zambian Airways has just collapsed so go figure.... Africa, always something different… |  |
The road from Victoria Falls has to be one of the other most scenic roads (there are so many) that graces Zimbabwe. An easy two hour drive takes you up and down valleys, across rivers, past massive baobabs, around toops of baboons and smaller game. This is Zimbabwe, unspoilt and devoid of any other vehicles mainly due to $1.00 per lt diesel and petrol! OK so stop the grumbling, you can get fuel, you may have to search, you will have to pay through the nose but you can get fuel in Zimbabwe, tell this to the world, no maybe don’t cos we love the fact that we almost had Zims to ourselves. Our arrival destination was Miombo Safari Lodge, situated just outside Main Gate of Hwange National Park. We were welcomed by the camp manager Simon, who in no time settled us into our tree house chalet. We had visited this lodge many years prior to the slight economic decline…It is still a great base to discover Hwange, albeit needing some love and of course tourist with $$! Game drive on! After settling in, we jumped onto the Miombo game viewer, accompanied by our aptly named guide, Livingstone. There is just something about Hwange that beats our own Kruger Park hands down. Maybe it’s the lack of tourists but we had visited this park many times during the “good old years”. Maybe it’s the sense of complete wilderness? Who knows, but once bitten by Hwange, you will find it hard to scratch your bush itch (sounds rude!) in any other SA park again. Those who have been there will know what I am talking about.. |   | After a few obligatory sundowners at Nyamandlovu Platform, it was time to make our way back to the lodge for dinner and yes, yes, yes, some more sleep. Mrs Custard was to be introduced to Hwange the next morning so we all needed our rest to get up early and explore on our own, this stunning park. | The next morning we made our way back to Main Camp and into the park. Not too bad for park fees. R340 saw the three of us and Mrs Custard gain entry for the day. Now which loop and what road to take?
Our favourite part of any Hwange safari is to make our way to Kennedy One. This is a simple rest camp but the perfect place to start your safari off with a bush breakfast washed down with some 1st world coffee. Next stop Ngweshla Picnic Site and our first sighting of a South African registered vehicle! Must stop to say hello only to find that these so called “saffers” were actually Zimbo’s now living in South Africa. They like us, thought that Zimbabwe would offer a much needed respite from South African tourists. We had still to meet any real self drive South Africans and according to the register book at Main Camp, Mrs Custard and this "imposter” were the ONLY GP’s in this part of Hwange!
I'm not going to bore anyone with records of game sightings only to say we saw most of what Hwange has to offer, needless to say we saw it on our own, undisturbed the was it must have been years ago. Zimbabwe will become a sought after destination once again - I for one will never take for granted the solitude and wilderness that we experienced in the park. Selfishly we loved having the place to ourselves! On exiting Hwange, Mrs Custard decided that now was the time to give us a small hassle, OK in her defence we had pummeled the dirt roads heavily in Hwange so a problem was always to be expected. We had managed to damage a front bush - well to be precise we knackered it. Hmm how to repair in Hwange? No spares but lots of Landys in various states of function and disrepair… Easy peasy. Simon (our Miombo camp mamanger) mustered up a local “Landy mechanic” and in no time a new bush was fashioned from an unusually shaped Toyota bush. Cost of repair $30, probably a weeks wage in the current Zim scenario. The bush came with a verbal “gaurentee”, “boss, this bush will outlive your Landy!" | 
 | | ANTELOPE PARK GWERU | We have always wanted to visit Antelope Park. This lodge/park is situated in the dead centre of Zimbabwe just outside of Gweru and is the home of The Lion Encounter, a project aimed at putting back lions into areas not prolific of this iconic animal. The idea is very simple, captive lions (circus, Saudi prince pets etc) are brought to Antelope park, they breed, their offspring is used for Lion Encounter walks and educationals in Victoria Falls and Livingstone. They then become too big and are “retired” into a breeding programe which see’s their offspring being released back into the wild. After about a five hour drive which included a quick drive through Bulawayo, we arrived at this amazing camp which is almost like being on another planet. A kind of “Afro Disney” run by highly motivated and friendly staff, Were we still in Zimbabwe I wondered? Great food, stunning settings, only two nights here was going to be “tough”! Antelope Park offers a huge range of activities, from walking with lions to swimming with elephants. This is an “up close and personal” wildlife experience. We indulged in most of the activities on offer, our daughter enjoying an elephant back ride as by now she was the Wood family pachyderm expert! | 
 | | Sadly during our stay, Savannah came down with a nasty bug which was to stay with us until our arrival back in Johannesburg…. | | THE BORDER AND HOME | All good things must come to an end and on December 23rd, we trundled out of Gweru and headed down to Beit Bridge Border Post, the only major obstacle on our homeward trek. The only problem we were to face was a lack of diesel. With mind racing trying to work out capaicity versus kilometers, I reckoned it was going to be tight, we may even run out of fuel. Thankfully just outside of Gweru we came across the picturesque little town of Shurguwi. “Have you got any diesel?”. Yes ! was the welcomed reply, so we filled Mrs Custard with enough diesel to get to Beit Bridge and beyond if needed. By now Savannah was very sick and we naturally thought the worst. Cholera is rife in Zimbabwe along with the economic and political woes. Had we slipped up in our planning with bottled water and cooked food, not to mention all the disinfectants and muti we had brought along with us? Surely not we hoped..So Mrs Custard was aimed straight for the border and we prepped Sav to say she was fine in case she was quarantined at Messina for suspected cholera. |  |
The border loomed, a mass of humanity, all waiting to get into South Africa, this was going to be hard - maybe even a couple of hours to get through. We managed to shove our way to the South African section of immigration but still a long and hot queue was facing us.
It was at this stage that Sav decided that she urgently needed to go to the loo. Not a pleasant way to spend some time at any border post I can assure you. Panic! The toilet request turned into a Vic Falls sized fountain of kid vomit. The masses around us parted like the Red Sea and we were suddently strangely alone in the room with a floor full of the bad stuff and a very very sick child. So what do you do... well what would you have done? I managed to grab a senior border official who took one look at Sav and whisked us through customs, immigration, police clearance and back into our Landy... "You can go, quickly please" We were through in record time. Well done South African border officials, a case of suspected cholera gets things moving and boy did we move quickly!
|  | | HOME SWEET HOME | | At around 6pm on December 23rd (we bypassed our last night in Messina), we arrived at our home in Johannesburg. Savannah was diagnosed with a viral tummy bug. She was hydrated and managed to get well just in time for Christmas Day. We had conquered Zimbabwe, had an amazing adventure albeit with a few minor hiccups.
Zimbabwe has to be done and in the months to come we hope that a solution will be found to the benefit of the wonderful people that make Zimbabwe special. Our advice is go. Go by car, experience the bush, be prepared, but go - and go soon as it won’t be quiet for long… |
The “Maplanga’s” would like to thank the following people who made our trip a HUGE success: In order of our trip.. Martin – Kwa-Nokeng
Ranza Strauss – Elephant Sands
Brent Williamson – Masuwe Safari Lodge and Safari Par Excellence
Graham Nel – The Waterfront & Safari Par Excellence
Clover King – Zambezi Elephant Trails & Safari Par Excellence
Simon – Miombo Safari Lodge
Andrew Connely – African Encounters & Antelope Park If you are keen on booking any of these wonderful lodges and doing any of the things we did, give us a shout (011) 794 1446 | Chris Wood 14th January 2009 |
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